Oh, The Places I'll Go...

I've closed up shop here and started anew. Visit eatpraylovetotravel.com to keep up with my travels and adventures.

Lator Gator

I've created a new blog, now that I'm back stateside. Someday it will be as funny as this one. Like, when we change our nation language to Spanish. Or Canadian. I'm just sayin.

Please update your bookmarks/ RSS feeds:

Beans and Nuts

Adios, my friends.

SSDD

Today was my first full day in the office since my return, and although it was lovely to be back on certain levels (friends! english! coffee! mexican food!), I'm struggling to get back in the flow. I think I'm just over this. I'm tired of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting new results. Isn't that the definition of insanity? So, I'm back on the hamster wheel but I'm making plans for a brighter future.

And I'm thinking this is going to be my last post here. I may start up a new blog, but I can't go on being "Seoul Cliched" forever. Any suggestions for a new blog title?

I didn't sleep on the plane.

Cloverfield
- Gossip Girl Meets Godzilla
- The One Where You Hope They All Die
- I Think I'll Switch to VH1 Now

National Treasure II: Book of Secrets
- What Happened To Nic Cage's Face?
- It's Like a Monkey Skull Wearing a Wig
- No, Seriously, WTF Happened To His Face?

P.S. I Love You
- Does Anyone Really Like Hillary Swank?
- No, I'm Not Crying. I'm Sweating From My Eyes. I Swear.
- Fabulous Shoes & Men With Accents: A Dream Come True

So, I'm home. My house is filthy and my car battery is dead, but my skin is allready improving & I'm unpacked. So far today I've eaten Mac & Cheese for breakfast, taken Sabine to the park, watched 4 episodes of 30 Rock and taken 2 naps. X brought over my Box O' Mail and I'm going to attempt to go through that today and figure out what my financial situation is. But first, I may take nap number 3.

Travellin again

Jeeves was late to pick me up. Not late enough to be troublesome but late enough to really put my hackles up. I was already in a bit of a tiff because the checkout at the Dormy was a cluster, naturally. Plus, it was about 80 degrees outside and I was standing in the sun, in a black sweater, with all my luggage.

But all is well, and I made it here and through security. I'm in the Singapore Airlines lounge, enjoying small cuts of American Cheese Food on chips with salsa and Hite. Who knew Ghetto Nachos could be so satisfying?

The airport here, and in most countries I've visited, is much more efficient with the check-in and security processes than the US. Of course, the fact that I have a business class ticket really helps too. I caught my self chuckling as I flew past a bunch of people in line and then reminded myself that will be me again soon. I best take advantage of this luxury while I'm able so I'm gonna go grab some more cheese and booze. Maybe I'll try the Chilean wine this time. Or the ice cream. Decisions, decisions.

Got my bags all packed, I'm ready to go...

After spending the last two hours packing and re-packing I'm finally satisfied that I'm ready to leave, and I only had to throw away 2 outfits to make room for gifts! Keep your fingers crossed that I'm not over the weight limit because I really don't want to have to open these bags at the airport.

I'm so glad to be going home. My stay here has been interesting but I'm starting to have negative thoughts about many things Korea, and that makes me sad. This city can just be very unfriendly and, let's be honest, kinda filthy. My skin and lungs and sinuses are gasping for fresh air and I can't wait until I can spend a day without hacking or having to rinse my eyes because they burn so badly from the pollutants.

That said, I spent most of the afternoon in Insadong, my favorite area of the city. It's the one place that feels unique to Korea and is full of little boutiques and art galleries. It was a beautiful, sunshiny day and I got a slight sunburn walking from shop to shop. I spent a slight fortune on souvenirs, but compared to other cities the prices are pretty reasonable. And I think you guys are probably worth it.

Be home Friday afternoon. XO

Too grumpy to sleep...

So here is a random link post.

For my design junkies- subscribe to this feed immediately:
http://www.smashingmagazine.com

If you're ever bored and want to know what everyone else is looking at:
http://www.buzzfeed.com

Send your secrets to Frank, or just read about your neighbors:
http://postsecret.blogspot.com

The most depressing blog ever:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/homicidereport

Celebrity Sleeze with witty commentary, except by a strait dude:
http://www.wwtdd.com

When in doubt there is always YouTube:

** I know it's shocking, but yes, they really do use scissors to cut all the food here.

Sad Face, Happy Face

My lovely little camera is gone. Some scam artist took off with it and some great pictures I took Saturday. Hopefully, my American Express travelers insurance will replace the camera but there is no way they could replace the photo of the Ho Barn. Or the photos of Mere and I doing shots off a particularly interesting ice sculpture at the Icebar. Or the wicked cool pictures I took at Oi, the "Flinstones bar." Ce La Vie.

I'm bummed I won't be able to take more photos of Konglish while here, but the weekend was a lot of fun. Friday was Lotte World and Saturday was neighborhood hopping with Mere. We got our nails done in the subway, did some bar hopping in Hongik, sang our hearts out at a Norebang (Kareoke room) and had some breakfast before going to bed at 9am. I haven't been out that late since college and I remember why now. But it was a great last weekend in Seoul.

Tomorrow I'm going to see about getting some new glasses- opticians are super cheap here so I might as well stock up, no?

The Happiest Place in Korea

Last night we went to Lotte World, or "Korean Disneyland." Although not quite as large as Disneyland it's certainly a lot of fun. The lines weren't as bad as expected for a Friday night and we managed to hit about about 12 rides in 4 hours. My voice is a little hoarse today from all the screaming.

The Gyro Drop was the one ride that really terrified me. It's a 24 story freefall- at least it's over quick!

Fancy a snack?

These are Korean Good Luck charms, a man and one ugly lady on the right:

Translation: You will bang your head around a lot on this ride so don't complain if you earrings go through your skull:

Korea may be the only place on Earth I'm considered tall:

Hanging with my Hommies - Lotte & Lorry

Is This Burning, an Eternal Flame...

Thursday night Mere and I went to Olympic Park and had a nice walk. The place is enormous and we got a little lost. Frankly, I was worried we might have to be airlifted out but fortunately we ran into a Burger King and the Day was saved.

The exit from the subway is pretty surreal- I call it the stairway to heaven.

The World Peace Gate & Flag Garden

The Olympic Flame. Duh. Oh, and Starbucks of course.

The Gate at night.

I'll have what she's having...

This is what a menu looks like at a typical Korean restaurant.

And that is why I don't usually eat Korean food when I'm by myself.

Disorder!!! At The Dormy

On Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

This morning I hopped on the subway and headed over to Nondaemun market to do some shopping and see the Gate. Sadly, some lunatic set fire to the millenia old Grand Gate a few months ago, essentially destroying this national treasure. I knew they were working on restoration but had hoped for a glimpse...no such luck. They've got the thing locked up tighter than Fort Knox and there isn't even a point to posting photos of the pathetic wall around it.

So, I wandered the market for awhile had some lunch and then decided to head back to my side of town. In a stroke of genius I decided that I should head over to the COEX mall first to pick up a few more souvenirs. Mmmmm, hmmm. The mall on a Sunday afternoon. Have I mentioned I don't like crowds? I must be outta my effing mind.

At this point, I've been on my feet for about 4 hours and am starting to get a wee bit cranky so I decided to attempt to see a movie. At the theatre here they have these handy little flyers you can look at to decide what you want to see. So, I picked the two English language choices and began the long road to movie magic.

Movie 1 - American Thriller I know nothing about staring (my crush since 7th grade) Brendan Fraser:


Movie 2 - American Thriller I know nothing about staring Milo Ventima...cutiePie from Heroes:


Armed with my flyers, I went to the ticket counter and tried to figure out what time they played to see if that could help me with my decision. But, of course, that doesn't help at all because the electronic signs move to fast for me to read:

I'm so tired and frustrated that I burst into to tears and start to walk out when, low and behold, I nearly walk into a small sign with todays times printed out and noted with their english titles. So, I went to see Pathology and boy am I glad because now you, my faithful friends and beloved family, don't have to. Although milo does have a pretty cute butt.

Designer Dog

Designer pets are the new rage in Seoul and I saw this poor character waiting in the salon. Yes, he is getting a perm and I swear I saw him mouth "help me."

Item of the Week

After NANTA and dinner, Jinju and I wandered around the streets of Gangnam where I bought this delightful product from a street vendor for 2 dollars.

The Face Roller has brought me hours of entertainment, and that's just from reading the packaging. It's a massager for your face, designed to increase circulation and what not. Let's take a closer look:

Apparently it's especially for Conglobated Face and Large Neck. Lucky for me I have both those things! Now, onto the backside:

Dooode...it's going to promote the metabolism of my fattiness and improve laxation in my face! I'm so using this before bed every night.

The Wonderful World of Whisky

Great font choice for a bar, dontcha think?

NANTA

If a Korean soap opera & "Stomp" had a baby, and that baby worked it's way through college by cooking at Bennihana's you'd have NANTA, an off-brodway play that supposedly swept the nation in the 90's. Titled "Cookin'" when it toured Kansas and Missouri, it was a show rife with Jerry Lewis esque physical comedy and full of screwball antics. Except set in a kitchen.

Here are a few highlights:
- The "broomstick vs. Whisk nun-chuck" fight scene, resulting in one chef having a broomstick protruding from his rectum and the other stuck in a garbage bin.
- The "showdown with a duck" scene.
- The "gratuitous stripper dance" scene where the lone female star gyrated with a broom.
- My personal favorite, the "singing vegetables" scene. All I can say is "Karma-Karma-Karma Cucumber."

Yeah, needless to say, it was brilliant.

P.S. Are those sparks shooting out of her ass?

Busy, busy bee

In a much better mood today, although I would still prefer to be sitting in my own hotel room creating this post. If it were up to me I'd be lying on my bed semi-nude with the air conditioning on. Not that you wanted or needed to know that.

Point is, summer is here and it is warm. The girls at the office told me that the last few years there has been no spring or fall here in Seoul. What a pity, those are my favorite seasons.

It's been a busy weekend so I'm going to post a few separate entries in the interest of breaking it up. And then I'm going to go sleep like a baby...I think I walked 10 miles today. Mostly in circles. Enjoy.

meh

I have been mentally composing a hysterical blog all day but now I am too disgruntled to write because:

A. The internet in my room has been down since yesterday morning

B. 2 different engineers have come to fix it and cannot figure it out

C. They gave me a key to the neighboring room, but apparently I'm on dial up because it took me 15 minutes just to download 6 fricking emails.

D. It's hotter than Hades up in this joint

So, I guess I'm not syncing the servers tonight and I will have to save my blog until I'm in a better mood. But, I did find this the other day which makes me happy. And you thought I was kidding...

Example of a bad logo..

That's kinda hokey, but it's probably a construction company or something...

Ack!!