Too grumpy to sleep...

So here is a random link post.

For my design junkies- subscribe to this feed immediately:
http://www.smashingmagazine.com

If you're ever bored and want to know what everyone else is looking at:
http://www.buzzfeed.com

Send your secrets to Frank, or just read about your neighbors:
http://postsecret.blogspot.com

The most depressing blog ever:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/homicidereport

Celebrity Sleeze with witty commentary, except by a strait dude:
http://www.wwtdd.com

When in doubt there is always YouTube:

** I know it's shocking, but yes, they really do use scissors to cut all the food here.

Sad Face, Happy Face

My lovely little camera is gone. Some scam artist took off with it and some great pictures I took Saturday. Hopefully, my American Express travelers insurance will replace the camera but there is no way they could replace the photo of the Ho Barn. Or the photos of Mere and I doing shots off a particularly interesting ice sculpture at the Icebar. Or the wicked cool pictures I took at Oi, the "Flinstones bar." Ce La Vie.

I'm bummed I won't be able to take more photos of Konglish while here, but the weekend was a lot of fun. Friday was Lotte World and Saturday was neighborhood hopping with Mere. We got our nails done in the subway, did some bar hopping in Hongik, sang our hearts out at a Norebang (Kareoke room) and had some breakfast before going to bed at 9am. I haven't been out that late since college and I remember why now. But it was a great last weekend in Seoul.

Tomorrow I'm going to see about getting some new glasses- opticians are super cheap here so I might as well stock up, no?

The Happiest Place in Korea

Last night we went to Lotte World, or "Korean Disneyland." Although not quite as large as Disneyland it's certainly a lot of fun. The lines weren't as bad as expected for a Friday night and we managed to hit about about 12 rides in 4 hours. My voice is a little hoarse today from all the screaming.

The Gyro Drop was the one ride that really terrified me. It's a 24 story freefall- at least it's over quick!

Fancy a snack?

These are Korean Good Luck charms, a man and one ugly lady on the right:

Translation: You will bang your head around a lot on this ride so don't complain if you earrings go through your skull:

Korea may be the only place on Earth I'm considered tall:

Hanging with my Hommies - Lotte & Lorry

Is This Burning, an Eternal Flame...

Thursday night Mere and I went to Olympic Park and had a nice walk. The place is enormous and we got a little lost. Frankly, I was worried we might have to be airlifted out but fortunately we ran into a Burger King and the Day was saved.

The exit from the subway is pretty surreal- I call it the stairway to heaven.

The World Peace Gate & Flag Garden

The Olympic Flame. Duh. Oh, and Starbucks of course.

The Gate at night.

I'll have what she's having...

This is what a menu looks like at a typical Korean restaurant.

And that is why I don't usually eat Korean food when I'm by myself.

Disorder!!! At The Dormy

On Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

This morning I hopped on the subway and headed over to Nondaemun market to do some shopping and see the Gate. Sadly, some lunatic set fire to the millenia old Grand Gate a few months ago, essentially destroying this national treasure. I knew they were working on restoration but had hoped for a glimpse...no such luck. They've got the thing locked up tighter than Fort Knox and there isn't even a point to posting photos of the pathetic wall around it.

So, I wandered the market for awhile had some lunch and then decided to head back to my side of town. In a stroke of genius I decided that I should head over to the COEX mall first to pick up a few more souvenirs. Mmmmm, hmmm. The mall on a Sunday afternoon. Have I mentioned I don't like crowds? I must be outta my effing mind.

At this point, I've been on my feet for about 4 hours and am starting to get a wee bit cranky so I decided to attempt to see a movie. At the theatre here they have these handy little flyers you can look at to decide what you want to see. So, I picked the two English language choices and began the long road to movie magic.

Movie 1 - American Thriller I know nothing about staring (my crush since 7th grade) Brendan Fraser:


Movie 2 - American Thriller I know nothing about staring Milo Ventima...cutiePie from Heroes:


Armed with my flyers, I went to the ticket counter and tried to figure out what time they played to see if that could help me with my decision. But, of course, that doesn't help at all because the electronic signs move to fast for me to read:

I'm so tired and frustrated that I burst into to tears and start to walk out when, low and behold, I nearly walk into a small sign with todays times printed out and noted with their english titles. So, I went to see Pathology and boy am I glad because now you, my faithful friends and beloved family, don't have to. Although milo does have a pretty cute butt.

Designer Dog

Designer pets are the new rage in Seoul and I saw this poor character waiting in the salon. Yes, he is getting a perm and I swear I saw him mouth "help me."

Item of the Week

After NANTA and dinner, Jinju and I wandered around the streets of Gangnam where I bought this delightful product from a street vendor for 2 dollars.

The Face Roller has brought me hours of entertainment, and that's just from reading the packaging. It's a massager for your face, designed to increase circulation and what not. Let's take a closer look:

Apparently it's especially for Conglobated Face and Large Neck. Lucky for me I have both those things! Now, onto the backside:

Dooode...it's going to promote the metabolism of my fattiness and improve laxation in my face! I'm so using this before bed every night.

The Wonderful World of Whisky

Great font choice for a bar, dontcha think?

NANTA

If a Korean soap opera & "Stomp" had a baby, and that baby worked it's way through college by cooking at Bennihana's you'd have NANTA, an off-brodway play that supposedly swept the nation in the 90's. Titled "Cookin'" when it toured Kansas and Missouri, it was a show rife with Jerry Lewis esque physical comedy and full of screwball antics. Except set in a kitchen.

Here are a few highlights:
- The "broomstick vs. Whisk nun-chuck" fight scene, resulting in one chef having a broomstick protruding from his rectum and the other stuck in a garbage bin.
- The "showdown with a duck" scene.
- The "gratuitous stripper dance" scene where the lone female star gyrated with a broom.
- My personal favorite, the "singing vegetables" scene. All I can say is "Karma-Karma-Karma Cucumber."

Yeah, needless to say, it was brilliant.

P.S. Are those sparks shooting out of her ass?

Busy, busy bee

In a much better mood today, although I would still prefer to be sitting in my own hotel room creating this post. If it were up to me I'd be lying on my bed semi-nude with the air conditioning on. Not that you wanted or needed to know that.

Point is, summer is here and it is warm. The girls at the office told me that the last few years there has been no spring or fall here in Seoul. What a pity, those are my favorite seasons.

It's been a busy weekend so I'm going to post a few separate entries in the interest of breaking it up. And then I'm going to go sleep like a baby...I think I walked 10 miles today. Mostly in circles. Enjoy.

meh

I have been mentally composing a hysterical blog all day but now I am too disgruntled to write because:

A. The internet in my room has been down since yesterday morning

B. 2 different engineers have come to fix it and cannot figure it out

C. They gave me a key to the neighboring room, but apparently I'm on dial up because it took me 15 minutes just to download 6 fricking emails.

D. It's hotter than Hades up in this joint

So, I guess I'm not syncing the servers tonight and I will have to save my blog until I'm in a better mood. But, I did find this the other day which makes me happy. And you thought I was kidding...

Example of a bad logo..

That's kinda hokey, but it's probably a construction company or something...

Ack!!

Hey Shakes? I win.

Tee shirt purchasd at Gangnam Station, for 5000W:


And the bag it came in:


Runner's Up:



I'm complete bummed that I was unable to find a single one of these in anything larger than a small/medium. I would rock the last three like no tomorrow if "The Ladies" didn't warp the text beyond legibility. So, if you are lucky enough to be one of my skinny friends you'll probably be getting one of these as a souvenir. Give a shout if you have a favorite!

Saturday, In The Park...

Silver & Jenny took me to Namsan Park on Saturday to see the beee-yoo-ti-ful Cherry Blossom trees. We took a small hike up the hill to N-Tower, where we were treated to a 360 degree view of Seoul and enjoyed yogurt parfaits at the deli.



Jajang Of Old Was Eaten By The King?

To the North - this is the "downtown" area and includes Iteawon & Insadong:

To the East:

To the South - my hotel is in this one, on the other side of the river. Those are the cherry trees that line the road on the way up.
To the East:

Afterwards, we went to lunch in Gangnam and the menu items were listed in Italian with Korean descriptions. Very convenient as I speak neither language, but I managed to order pasta with Salmon. Unfortunately, it came with a giant helping of fish roe on top that kinda made me gag. Somethings just don't belong in cream sauce.

I tried to post this on Sunday but my computer spazzed out on me so I gave up and took a nap. Which is mostly what I've been doing all week - 7 days later and I'm still showing signs of this cold/flu from hell! I'm off the "guns" and starting to feel better though so I'll try to post more soon.

Fun At The Pharmacy

I managed to purchase two boxes of what appear to be cold medicine, however, not being able to read Korean I thought I'd pop on-line and see what I'm taking.

Here is the original text from the Myticin manufacturers website:

마이티신엑스 과립은 한의서인 온병조변에 수재되어 있는 은교산을 원방으로 한 제품으로 발열에 의한 각종 염증성질환 (인후염,기관지염 등) 및 감기의 제증상 (입이 마르고 두통, 기침)에 효과가 있어 해열, 진통완화작용을 나타냅니다.또한 성분중 금은화와 연교는 소염, 해열, 항균, 항바이러스효과가 있어서 악성종기나 인후염에 치료제로 사용되고 있습니다.

효능, 효과 : 인후염, 편도염, 목감기, 중이염 및 기타 염증 성분 : 감초, 길경, 박하, 금은화, 연교, 영양각, 형개, 우방자, 담죽엽, 두시 용법용량 : 1일 3회,식전 또는 식간에 복용 15세 이상 - 1회 1포, 7~14세 - 1회 1/2포, 5~6세 - 1회 1/4포

And in Engrish, as translated by Bablefish:

The E the mote shoes X granule is becoming the bright person in all bottle instant costume change which is from a herb doctor kyo the mountain the various inflammation nature exchange in the remote area due to a heat generation with one product (piece dyeing which is, bronchitis back) and the cold in Je Jeung Sang (mouth dries and headache, cough) to be an effect alleviates a fever, shows an anesthetic relaxation action. Also gold and silver anger and year in ingredient kyo there is a quenching, removal of fever, a clause germ and a clause virus effect and in the piece dyeing which is a malignant end B it is used with the remedy. Effect and effect: The piece dyeing which is, one way Yum, the neck cold, the tympanitis and other inflammation ingredient: Around the licorice, route, the peppermint and gold and silver anger, year kyo, the nutrition angle and the elder brother dog, the friendly nation it sleeps, wall gruel Yub, it lets, use dosage: 1st 3 times, before or for taking medicine above 15 three - 1 time 1 gun, 7~14 tax - 1 time 1/2 guns, 5~6 tax - 1 time quarter guns

I think my favorite quote is the "elder brother dog, the friendly nation it sleeps." No wonder we have problems with international relations! I'm going to go take 1 time 1/2 guns and go to bed. Wish me luck.

Exclusively designed for well-being of young generation

I haven't tried this, due to fear of what it would do to my delicate system, but I had to buy it so I could take a photo of the bottle. Beer + Fiber. Yumm.


In other words, all the blooming trees in Seoul seem to have awakened simultaneously on Saturday. This may or may not be related to my current state of fever, sneezing and general malaise but they sure are pretty.

McCain

I like the guy. Granted, I grew up in Arizona but, I tend to label myself myself Democrat. I just saw McCain on Letterman and it reminded me why this election is going to be better than the last. Regardless of who wins, we have a good selection of candidates that are *trying* to avoid the mudslinging. The way a campaign should be. (she says with breath held)

A Love Letter

To X, Louis & Steddles – I miss our Sunday Brunches and Happy Hours, plotting out plans for OBD. I miss hitting up the Ter-gat, searching for bargains and writing each others personal ads. I miss text messaging after American Idol to determine who should stay and I miss wine tastings at Jerry’s.

To Miss V – I miss our lunches, talking about work and our goals, knitting and your family. I miss our afternoon walks and conspiring over Fish Tacos. I miss coming over for dinner and being overwhelmed with children and playing the Weeeeeeeeee.

To Gilbert – I miss our afternoon coffee breaks and mini-snark sessions. It’s just not the same via IM.

To NL - I miss happy hour @ Hall Street and Mingo’s, learning more about the amazing person that you are. You inspire me & I can't wait to meet C.

To Sweetcheeks and my FDB’s – I miss lunches at PF Changes. I miss pretending to know sports just to hang out with you & enjoy your company. I might miss drinking your vodka, but I don’t miss losing my shoes. Ya’ll Rock.

To my Arizona (&soon to be CO) peeps & my family– I miss you always, so not much is new. I just miss you more.

To the former Ms. Sox & hubby – see above. I hope you don’t have Rabies from the MouseCoke Incident of 2008. Much Love.

To Monkey – my Boise Girl, I miss our long phone conversations and being able to run everything by you when I have a decision to make. I miss hearing about your crazy adventures at Sonic and all the things you’d never thought you’d say before you had a kid.

To all my other friends – I miss you too. I just don’t have as much to blog about. Drop me a line and keep me updated, I'd love to hear from you.

And last, to Sabine – I miss you most of all. I miss you sleeping beside me...inching closer and closer until you are practically on top of me. I miss our walks and trips to the dog park and how you keep giving me your Kong (over & over & over again) in hopes that I will give you more peanut butter. I miss the way you sneak between my legs when you are nervous so that I will protect you. I’m so sorry baby, I know you don’t understand why I left and I want you to know that I will be a better (dog)mom when I get home. I promise.

Observations

A few of you have asked about the food and culture so here is a random list of observations I have made over the last few weeks:

It's next to impossible to find a napkin in a restaurant. You might get a wet nap or a cocktail napkin, if you are lucky, but often they will give you Kleenex if you ask.

There are 100's of types of Kimchee and it is served with every meal. Even Italian.

"Personal Space" is as foreign to Korean's as Brazilian politics. I have been elbowed and shoved more than you can imagine. It's not a matter of rudeness but rather that there are simply so many people and so little space.

Copyright infringement is also a foreign concept, as the Michigan Dental logo or Batman lounge attest. Many of the main brands here look identical to American or European brand...just slightly different. It's fascinating to me due to my background in design.

Traffic is insane. I haven't seen anyone get hit yet but I know it is just a matter of time.

Although mostly reserved in nature, there is not as must stigma here about sex. You have to ask for tylenol at the pharmacy but you can buy 14 types of condoms and lube. At the movie theatre there was a commercial for birth control suppositories - I could tell from the imagery and not the text, if that tells you anything.

It is also standard to have photos taken of your newborn baby boy with his penis prominently displayed. I've seen a few in shop windows or during the birthday parties hosted at Amigo's. I think in American the parents would be accused of child pornography, when in fact, they are just proud.

There is a pretty big entertainment industry here, but I see American's selling a lot of stuff. Or a commercial might have Linkin' Park playing in the background. I find the contrast interesting - Korean speech and English lyrics.

As my brother mentioned, the main streets here are incredibly wide. I hadn't really noticed until it was called out but now it seems so obvious. Most of the big streets have 4-6 lanes of traffic in each direction. And it still never moves.

They like it warm here. I have a fan at my desk and wear short sleeves. My office mates are always complaining of being cold.

I love Clive Owen. That has nothing to do with this list except that he is on the TV looking wonderful.

I think I mentioned the address system, or lack thereof. It's very odd to show a cab driver a map & an address and have him be clueless on how to get there.

Although not much different than America, people don't tend to venture out of their neighborhoods often. When I told my office mates that I rode the subway to Gwacheon, a 20 minute trip, they were floored that I had traveled so far. S had not been to Itaewon in over 7 years, though it is merely a $5 cab ride away.

Cabs are cheap. Which is awesome, provided and you can convince the driver where to go.

I don't like the electrical outlets - they are too loosely attached to the wall and inconveniently placed - using the hair dryer over the toilet doesn't seem to safe to me.

Vendors hawk their items with a megaphone while driving through the streets. The first week here I thought we were about to experience a coup. Turns out it was just a sale on strawberries.

I'm sure there are tons more but I've prattled on long enough for today. Love you all!

Way Better Than The Stork